Changing Habits little by little

I started reading 1984 a few months ago and I simply couldn’t find time or make time to finish reading it until today. Even today I was debating with myself to clean first and then read. But it got me thinking, I can clean, which it’s going to take me about 2 to 3 hours, but I know that in a few hours, it’s going to be a mess again. As much as it annoys me that an area in the house can’t stay clean, I have to just accept it. Today, something just flipped in my head and I said to myself, ‘fuck it!’ The room can stay messy another day, the pile of laundry on the beanbag is fine, and that pin board that fell on the floor with pictures can stay on the floor. Enough is enough. I want to finish this book and I’m going to do it. Everything else can wait.

A few hours later, I finished my novel and I felt great. No regrets on choosing to read than do chores. In the end, whose going to judge me and why. Honestly, I don’t think my home is that much of a mess but I’m a firm believer that everything has a place. I get a little iffy if things aren’t where they’re suppose to. I chose to bypass that tick and do something I really wanted to do. If I would have cleaned first, I knew without a doubt, I would have been tired to read after and would have settled to just browse on my phone and later on I would have felt disappointed at myself for wasting time on my phone instead of reading. That was the cycle for the past few months. Old habits die hard.

New year, new resolutions: change a bad habit. I gotta start putting myself first sometimes and enjoy the little things that make me happy even if it’s something as simple as reading a book.

On another note: SPOILER in a way: the ending of the book is not what I expected. It was a sad realization in my opinion. I was hoping for some sort of rebellion and triumph over control but in the end, we were played and made to believe we were on to something when in realization, they were on to us since the beginning. That’s all I gotta say.

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